How to Negotiate With Your Parents
Being an Indian girl/women is not easy, as you are under constant pressure from the society or your parents. This is not something new or unheard of, as most Asian parents are harder on girls then they are on boys. Which is why it is more difficult for girls to connect with their parents, and get what they want from life. However, you do not have to keep living like this, we only get one life and we should all enjoy it to the fullest. In this article, we will cover How to negotiate with your parents, everything from going out with friends, to getting married to the guy of your choice. Because the only way we can move forward as a society is by creating quality. This will only be possible if we all take it upon yourself to make a difference. So here are a few ways you can negotiate with your parents.
Open Conversation – It is not easy to have an open conversation with your parents when you know their views, but you simply cannot sit back anymore. Before you get talking, list down all the points you want to make, and then keep it simple. Keep in mind that laying it all on them at once will only end badly, which is why you need to water it down. Keep it simple and easy, something they might agree to this time. So the next time you can ask for the next step, and gradually build on the same base. However, you need to keep your tone and head in check, as most parents have firm beliefs.
Understand – Making your parents understand anything is not as easy as it might sound, but with time they will gradually open their minds. However, you need to keep at it and keep a firm hand and pace. Explain it to them why the thing you are asking for is important, and how it impacts your life. At the end of the day firm or not, if you get them to simply understand or try to understand then you have a win at your hands. As understanding is the first step towards acceptance. Once you have highlighted the issue at least it exists, and you can keep adding to it gradually.
Permission – No matter how old you are, you will have to keep a gentle hand with your parents. The basics of negotiation teach you that, you never dictate your terms. Ask in a humble tone, as if you are asking for permission. Keeping an open mind and ask them what they feel about it, or why they disagree. Then keep a control on your feeling, and think of counter agreements that are strong and meaningful. In addition, the more you question them in a respectful tone, there are better chances of them understand what they are saying might not hold any value.
Silence – When used at the right time silence is a powerful tool, so if your parents lash out simply leave the conversation at that. Then try to hold your tongue no matter what they say, and only respond when spoken to. This will be the key to breaking their silence on the issue and open up for a negotiation.
An Alternative – If you are not getting exactly what you want, then you better have a strong alternative in mind. Keep in mind that you have worked so hard to get here, so think of something that is related to the matter. For instance, if your parents will not allow you to get married to the guy you like, ask them to meet with him and get to know him at least. On the other hand, if they are not letting you go to a party, ask them to meet your friends so they know who you will be with. Negotiations are all about getting the most out of the situation, so be prepared with an alternative.
These basics will help you get started with your parents, and hopefully, you will be able to negotiate your terms with them.